so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize