omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
