I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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