Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
