We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
