i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize