I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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