i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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