She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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