my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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