So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
