I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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