Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
