Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
