We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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