he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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