dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
