Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
