I cockslap morals
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize