The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
