Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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