He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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