woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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