Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
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Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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