They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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