I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
