i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
