Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
