I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize