I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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