Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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