ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
