I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
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Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
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Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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