I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
