I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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