Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize