sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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