How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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