But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
