I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
