it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I touched a dick in church today
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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