Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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