literally had 100 drinks last night.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
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