so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
