I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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