not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm bleeding and have questions
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
