You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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