His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
