I hate your face
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize