i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize