Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
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She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
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This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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