dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm getting married
To pizza
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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