So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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