Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
