i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
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It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
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all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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