I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
