it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
