PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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